Alyson Hannigan

A FOURTH SERVING OF PIE?

While some thought that Universal might take the high road and end the American Pie story with the obvious conclusion, American Wedding (a movie which truly ends the epic story of these friends on the rocky road to adulthood, while casting a wry and satiric eye on the social and sexual mores of America at the turn of a new millennium), the studio has opted to once again chase the Almighty Dollar, which means that they will sully the beautiful artistry of the original trilogy.

FilmJerk.com has learned that an American Pie 4 is being fast tracked at Universal, but this film won’t follow the main characters from the first film (thank God my Jim/Oz slashfic won’t be invalidated!) but instead Stiffler’s kid brother. Because he does poorly in school, he gets sent to band camp, where people try to put flutes in their vaginas for an hour and a half of hijinks and hilarity.

In a true crime against those of us invested in the American Pie saga and its internal continuity, FilmJerk is reporting that the kid who played the younger Stiffler won’t be appearing in this film - the studio will probably get some other flavor of the week actor to try to replicate the brilliance that that kid, whose name escapes me, brought to the role. Don’t cry - we yet have the original performances to cherish.

It’s unclear whether AP4 (as studio insiders are calling it) will be a theatrical release or will go straight to video, where we can obsessively watch it over and over again, wearing out the rewind button on our DVD remotes.