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From Timesonline.co.uk

Anthony Head

Anthony Stewart Head is Tony Blair’s Choice

Tuesday 12 April 2005, by Webmaster

Election people with Andrew Pierce

And now coming soon . . . the film

SEAN CONNERY, Anthony Head, of Little Britain, and Al Pacino may not seem to have much in common, but they do share one distinction. The big three party leaders would like to be portrayed by them.

Connery was the definitive James Bond: brooding, earthy, unforgiving, dark, and, yes, a little misogynist. So who wants him for a body double? Step forward Charles Kennedy, who, without a hint of irony, said: “Sean Connery. An earlier Connery, something around the Goldfinger period.”

For years Anthony Head appeared in those yuppie romance advertisements for Nescafé Gold Blend, then became a star of the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He looked a delight in his fishnet stockings as Frank N. Furter in The Rocky Horror Show. Head is the Prime Minister in Little Britain.

So who else should he play but Tony Blair, who told easyJet inflight magazine that Head was his choice. “But without Sebastian, I think.” Sebastian has a crush on the PM, you see.

What about Al Pacino, the still centre of the Corleone clan in The Godfather, drinking only water, politely insisting that it’s only business, burning a hole in the screen and his enemies with a restrained brilliance? So why did Michael Howard choose Pacino? “Because he is my wife’s favourite actor.”

Who do you think should play them? Answers please to people@thetimes.co.uk. Champagne for the best entries.

Thatcher’s lap do

BARONESS THATCHER has performed many stunts in her 16 election campaigns, including lifting a calf, driving a tank and cooking a cake. At the age of 79 the Iron Lady has achieved another first. She went to a 1980s theme party fundraiser at Peter Stringfellow’s lap-dancing club.

An unfazed La Thatch - the dancers stayed out of sight - spent 90 minutes at the party before sweeping out to the strains of Wham’s Wake Me Up before You Go Go, one of the decade’s signature songs.

Hague on track

WILLIAM HAGUE, who has been criticised for taking a back seat for the past four years to earn money outside Westminster, is on the election trail again, although this time without his Save the Pound lorry. Hague plans to visit thirty-three seats over the next four weeks, mostly in Wales and his native Yorkshire, and to do a string of television interviews. He also likes Michael Howard’s “dog whistle” campaign. Not surprising, since Hague thought of it first.


The Tories held their Scottish manifesto launch yesterday at Hampden Park, home of the nation’s football team. Journalists felt the venue was more than apt given that a win for either of them has been a long time coming.

4 Forum messages

  • > Anthony Stewart Head is Tony Blair’s Choice

    13 April 2005 05:33, by Anonymous
    Oh jeez, no. ASH being Tony Blair is quite possibly the only role he could take that I’d refuse to see. ASH can do a lot, lot better.
  • > Anthony Stewart Head is Tony Blair’s Choice

    13 April 2005 13:43, by Anonymous
    It sounded to me like ASH was only the hypothetical choice if there was going to be a movie, not that he’s actually doing it.
  • > Anthony Stewart Head is Tony Blair’s Choice

    14 April 2005 18:25, by Captain Peroxide

    Sebastian’s a character from English comedy series ’Little Britain’ in which Anthony Stewart Head plays the Prime Minister in one of the recuring sketches. The main joke in each sketch is that the Prime Minister’s aide (Sebastian) is madly in love with him (continue ad infinitum).

    I think it’s a little harsh to say you would refuse to watch ASH if he ever decided to take the roll of Tony in a film (even though you’re blatantly a tory)... if anyone ever dicided to make one (chances are zero anyway so it doesn’t really matter). Let’s not forget that many actors take the rolls of unpopular characters from history. I hardly think you could qualify refusing to see a world war 2 epic because it had hitler in it and a film’s success depends on the story, actors, writers and directors more than the characters it’s based on.

    Not that Blair’s anything like Hitler of course, that was taking things to the extreme, but it’s not as if we’ve done badly under Blair’s government. We’ve certainly had a much better time than we had under years of Tory reign with Thatcher and Major.

    Sorry for turning this into politics (even though it was sort of there already) but Howard is blatantly lying his way into office, his maniphesto is full of John Prescott sized holes which he seems to think money will magically appear in. Let’s not forget that this man introduced the Poll Tax under Thatcher and that our economy, health service, taxation and practically everything else went to pot under the Tory’s last stint in power.

    Not that I’m rooting for Labour either, although the health service isn’t perfect its getting better, taxes are down, the economy is stronger than it has been in decades, but immigration is getting out of hand and years of spin and the Iraq war have left most people feeling that Blair can no longer be trusted. All this is regardless of the fact that the tories and the lib dems would have both done the same thing if they’d been in office.

    Basically there’s no good choice for us poor brits at the moment, we re-elect labour and risk being lied to again, we elect the tories, who are already lying to us, or we vote for the lib dems and effectlivy waste our time stepping into the polling booth.

    Sorry for going on but I’m getting sick of hearing so much rubbish from the supporters of the various parties most of whom know nothing about who they are supporting other than what the media publishes about them. So I’ll sign off by saying simply that anyone here who’s thinking about voting for the tories simply because you want a change from labour, prepare to be very disapointed this time next year when we’re in recession, MRSA is rampant and we’re at war with Iran or Syria.

  • > Anthony Stewart Head is Tony Blair’s Choice

    19 April 2005 13:19, by Captain Peroxide

    I think lapdog is a little too harsh a word, Maid would be better since the Brittish troops in Iraq seem to have only been used to clean up your mess. We were left at Basra while you guys ran gung-ho into Baghdad and messed everything up. Then you spent the next two years trying to sort everything in the capital out while our guys down in Basra had done that in less than a quarter. I realise of course that you’re obviously not pro Bush and so this is not meant as a jibe at you, but regardless of the reasons for the war, whether it’s WMDs, human rights (ha!), getting rid of Saddam or (most probably) oil, the world is still a better place (if only slightly) since Saddam was deposed. I realise that our respective governments lied to us and that’s not the reason we elected them (we should have learnt by now), but I think they did the right thing for the wrong reasons and went the wrong way about it... but in fifty years all people will remember is that Saddam was a bad ruler (I realise ’bad’ was too mild a word, but the only thing higher I could think of was ’evil’ and that’s too Bishist) and that it was a good think he was removed from control of the country.

    There, I think I’ve ranted for long enough now...