Following on from last week’s look at the varied success of sci-fi spin-offs, Cult Spy takes a tongue in cheek look at the possibilities that remain unexplored…

The Confessions Of Gwen Cooper

A post-watershed romp following the infidelity of Torchwood’s sex kitten Gwen Cooper. She’s already cheated on loving boyfriend Rhys with that little rascal Owen Harper, while also holding a torch for the cheesy prowess of Captain Jack. This new series would widen the parameters, with no Cardiff citizen or Space Weevil safe from the amorous advances of Miss Cooper. Any life form that falls through the rift is her bitch!

Jin Genie

Lost’s non-English speaking resident Jin is turned into a genie and floats around on the island offering people three wishes. The only problem is - he can’t understand what they are! His wife is still in a strop with him over his dodgy past, so refuses to translate. Using guess work, Jin tries to figure out what wishes the likes of Hurley, Locke and Sawyer have asked to be granted - with hilarious results. Or maybe not.

Scofield’s Sona Tsunami

A Prison Break spin-off featuring the third season’s finest star - Michael Scofield’s multi-dimensional sweat patch. The tattoo-festooned inmate discovers his grey sweatshirt has absorbed so much sweat that he opts to dispose of it, but this only incurs the wrath of the perspiration-packed critter. Summoning every bead of sweat ever accumulated, the patch torments the Sona prisoners by plotting and carrying out various liquid-based assaults on them. Would probably work best as a mini-series.

President Andrew Wells

Buffy’s blond nerd nemesis graduates from university and runs for congress. Every political situation is easily explained to the electorate through the use of Star Wars analogies. Andrews rise to power is swift, but he soon loses favour when he equates the insurgent Taliban with the plight of the Ewoks.

Dennis or Denise?

Following the lugubrious life of the cross-dressing FBI Agent from Twin Peaks, David Duchovny reprises his legendary role. Each weekly episode focuses on a specific undercover case for Dennis/Denise - and the critical decision on whether to use his feminine charm (and clothes) to get the desired results, or to slap on the Brut and grow a bit of stubble.

Metal Mickey

Doctor Who’s very own Mickey Smith - fed up of feeling like the rusty dog of the group - has his personality transferred into the metallic mutt for of K-9. Armed with a host of corny quips, a fearsome laser and one hell of a bark, Metal Mickey trundles around parallel Earth fighting crime... and trying to reignite his relationship with Rose. Hey, it’s what’s inside that counts!