Joss Whedon destroys Firefly New Season rumors

Abusing links is the only way I know how to live. But I am here with a purpose, my friends. Call me joss Whedon : Rumor Crusher ! (Or "Mister Fendendo", if we’re being intimate.)

Since everyone’s all abuzz with the CW rumor, I have to get all official and say : WE’VE STARTED FILMING NEW EPISODES ! Of Dateline. I’m such a troll.

No, there haven’t been any overtures from the CW as regards a SereniFly spin-off. I haven’t even heard the orchestra tuning up. But if they happen to come calling, I do know what I would do :

1) In order to keep the show cost efficient, we would get rid of a few things we don’t need, like spaceships, floors, and Jewel. (You thought I was gonna say ’costumes’, didn’t you ? Porn guy.)

2) Nathan is busy making movies, but since I don’t want new cast members, everybody in the cast would just move over one. Jewel (she’s back !) would play Mal, Ron would play Kaylee, Morena would play Book, and so on.

3) People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don’t like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.

4) The actors can make up their dialogue. I’m bushed, and they’re all funny, and the hell with it. Maybe I’ll give them a premise to work off of, like "You’re all in trouble" or "Wash has a thing". They could maybe light it too.

5) Klingons, but not alien Klingons. But still Klingons.

So already the show is running like a well oiled companion. I’m just proud to be a part of the Country Western network, and I know this will be their biggest hit since "Have Space-Gun, Will Travel."

I hope, as always, this clears things up. And I hope the executives at the Carnie Wilson network DO give me a call. I’ve got a million ideas for redoing their offices.

Power to the people who are powerful enough to crush the other people !

 jossy.