1. "I always listen to my wife. That’s why I still have one."

a) Clive Owen , claiming he would have been the new James Bond if his wife hadn’t objected to the Bond girls.

b) Jesse James , claiming that’s how he has stayed married to Sandra Bullock for more than three months.

c) Freddie Prinze Jr. , claiming he decided to do a half-hour TV show instead of an hour one because wife Sarah Michelle Gellar told him to.

2. "I couldn’t ask for more. Well, I could ask for one of those hybrid SUVs from the network, but that’s probably pushing it."

a) Neil Patrick Harris , earning major gas money on CBS’s How I Met Your Mother.

b) Kristen Bell , star of cult hit Veronica Mars, aware that UPN has limits for showing gratitude.

c) Sandra Oh , who really wants to ask ABC for more for being part of Grey’s Anatomy.

3. "I think that mixing bed and business is not a good thing."

a) Cameron Diaz , refusing to give boyfriend Justin Timberlake acting tips for his new career.

b) Thalia , singer-actor-lifestyle maven, on her relationship with music-maven husband Tommy Mattola, who previously mixed bed and business with bitter ex-wife Mariah Carey.

c) Ashlee Simpson , accused celebrity boyfriend-stealer, rethinking her celebrity hookup policy.

4. "I love a martini straight up. I don’t think anybody makes a martini stirred any more."

a) Goran Visnjic , bitter about not being the new Bond.

b) George Clooney , disdainful about anyone wanting to be Bond.

c) Daniel Craig , the new Bond, thinking of taking Bond in a new direction.

5. "We were just middle-of-the-road dopers."

a) Keith Richards , describing the Rolling Stones’ icon-making years.

b) Wilmer Valderrama , on how his sitcom That ’70s Show should be remembered.

c) Cheech Marin , who doesn’t think his comedy pairing with Tommy Chong was as avant-garde as others did.

6. "People . . . think that celebrities give their babies weird names, but it’s just an aesthetic choice."

a) Nicolas Cage , who named his son after Superman.

b) Jason Lee , star of My Name Is Earl and father of son Pilot Inspektor.

c) Katie Holmes , giving a bleak outlook for baby Cruise’s future.

7. "And of course, it’s always great . . . to have a mental illness story."

a) Dena Higley , head writer of soap opera One Life to Live, on plot for November’s key ratings period.

b) Tyra Banks, guiding force of America’s Top Model, ditto.

c) Anthony Clark , star of ratings-deprived sitcom Yes, Dear, ditto (and not joking).

8. "This article . . . (is) gonna go up in beauty shops all over the South."

a) Reese Witherspoon , dispensing styling tips to promote her role as Johnny Cash’s wife in the movie Walk the Line.

b) Dolly Parton , stating the obvious while promoting her new CD.

c) Chrishell Stause , Kentucky native thinking everyone is excited as she is about her big-break role on All My Children.

9. "I’ve been going through all the hormone stuff like (he) has relatively recently, so it’s fresh in my mind. In fact, it continues."

a) Daniel Radcliffe , on his growing bond with movie alter ego Harry Potter.

b) Demi Moore , on her growing bond with Ashton Kutcher.

c) Jamie Foxx , on his testosterone-overloaded bond with Miami Vice movie co-star Colin Farrell.

ANSWERS: 1, c; 2, a; 3, b; 4, c; 5, c; 6, b; 7, a; 8, c; 9, a.