Film Reviews Forget this year’s Oscars, they’re old. Yawn. It’s time to look ahead to next year’s! Get that credit card, rip this article out and get ready to run down to the bookies to place your bets because these are the sure fire money makers of this year.

Snakes on a Plane - Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, Best Special Effects. Two completely different aspects of our lives. One a common mode of international trasport. The other a deadly creature only truly trusted by the Steve Irwins of this world. The combination of the two, with the inclusion of Sammy L Jackson will leave us with the most breathtakingly tense thriller since Se7en. It’s a lock, I love it, I wouldn’t be supirsed if it swept the board.

Mel Gibson - Best Director (Apocalypto). The director God himself picked to tell us the story of the last days of his son’s death and the struggle of the Scots against the English has now been given a new mission. Amazing, unique and epic are just some of the words used to describe Mel Gibson.

The Rock - Best Actor (Southland Tales, Spy-Hunter, Gridiron Gang). A trifecta of classics from Hollywood’s new action hero. if he lands himself a franchise remake, maybe Die Hard 4, the new Indiana Jones film, hell, make another Rocky (it’s his name for crying out loud) then he’ll be well on his way to joining Segal, Van Damme and Stallone in the Action Hall of Fame.

Natalie Portman - Best Actress (V for Vendetta). Forget Star Wars, Natalie Portman’s best film since Garden State and the sacrifice of shaving off her hair for the film will garner her sympathy and the award. It’s a risk though, the safe money is on Sharon Stone. (Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction).

Kyle Gass - Best Stupporting Actor (Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny). With Jack Black’s career seemingly on the up it seems only right that his compadre and fellow member of ‘The D’ should receive some recognition for his understated and moving performance in this masterpiece. Kevin Smith’s Silent Bob (Passion of the Clerks) also a possible winner in what critics are calling the ‘battle of the bulge’.

Keira Knightley - Best Supporting Actress (Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest). She was Natalie Portman’s decoy in Star Wars, and I predict a similar one-two situation here. Past transgressions like Thunderpants and King Arthur are forgiven as we all just love Pirates of the Carribean. And her corset.