Sarah Michelle Gellar

Rated PG for some mild action and rude humor.

The showing I attended for Happily N’Ever After was interesting. Seated behind me with her parents was a child from about 9-12 years in age. She said around at least a half a dozen times, “Mom, is the movie over yet?” Folks, this is the first and only sign one needs of a horrific film. Kids are indirectly the best critics for movies in the children’s genre. The look of sheer boredom on the faces of the mother and father of this child were also priceless. Truth be told, I shared the same sentiments they did towards this sorry excuse for an animated feature. This is a very brash and ultimately clueless little picture. To the cast and crew, this is extremely witty and imaginative, but to everyone sane, it is pitiful and irksome.

In “Fairy Tale Land”, the wizard (Voice of George Carlin) and his two sidekicks, Mambo (Voice of Andy Dick) and Munk (Voice of Wallace Shawn) control the endings of every story within the land. While the wizard goes on vacation he leaves his workers in charge of running things. Meanwhile, Rick (Voice of Freddie Prinze Jr.) is in love with Ella ...Cinderella (Voice of Sarah Michelle Gellar) that is, but the problem is that she desires the affection of the handsome, but dense Prince (Voice of Patrick Warburton). Rick also happens to be the Prince’s servant. One day, when Cinderella’s enchanted tale is about to finish with the happy conclusion, the wicked stepmother Frieda (Voice of Sigourney Weaver) eavesdrops on Mambo and Munk arguing. She overhears how much power they have over Fairy Tale Land. She quickly assumes rule, and turns all the endings to “Happily N’Ever After.” Now that all the villains are loose, someone must save the day, but who will it be, Rick the servant, The Prince, or the Wizard’s assistants?

Freddie Prinze Jr. is our narrator, and the first evidence of the creators confusing facileness with cleverness is exposed as he stops the film in its tracks, rewinds, fast-forwards, and so on as if to appear hip and edgy. It is simply a horrible attempt of taking a page out of the book of films like Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Rick the servant is none other than a CGI Freddie Prinze Jr. with longer hair, and for that matter, the character of Ella is CGI Sarah Michelle Gellar with short hair. One can plainly see that not a lot of time and effort went into the construction of these CGI characters. The voice work of these two is standard and basically typical of these throw away offerings. The faults here do not lie with any voice work.

Happily N’Ever After relies heavily on the comedy of Andy Dick, who voices the wizard’s helper Mambo. Andy Dick is sporadically humorous throughout this film, but his comedic arsenal is not dominant enough to prevent the onslaught of dull wisecracks and recycled gags from destroying this sludge. The cast is mostly made of washed up stars that are less than stellar even when they are participating in a live-action film. In all fairness though, not one of the actors is overly exasperating.

The reason why animated contributions such as this should be against the law is because of how blatantly and clumsily it took the concept from the Shrek franchise. Producer John H. Williams, Director Paul J. Bolger, and Screenwriter Robert Moreland must have literally sat down and watched Shrek, and then said “Hey, we should extend those jokes about classic cartoon characters into a full movie.” I realize Williams served as Producer for Shrek and Shrek 2, but he could have been more inventive. They certainly met their goal in some form; however, they forgot any speck of originality, charm, or heart. I was also given the impression that Bolger and Moreland took any idea they thought was “cool” and decided to use it. For instance, the wicked witches ride motorized brooms with colored smoke following behind, and the seven dwarfs are military crazed maniacs who possess an enormous diamond slinger type weapon. Oddly enough, one dwarf copied the voice of Billy Bob Thornton from Sling Blade.

Apparently, Happily N’Ever After was set to be a regular, two-dimensional cartoon, but then the brains at work chose to change it to a 3-D/CGI submission. Having said that, the resulting animation is quite putrid, hideous, and repellent in all aspects. Also, it is imperative to note that a rather perverted mind was involved in the design of certain characters, as the emphasis on the breasts is obvious.

As a critic, it is easy to bash Happily N’Ever After, but it is not the worst film I have seen in my life. You will most likely chuckle a few times, but other than that, this cynical, limp, and hackneyed piece of cinema will have you on the edge of your seat, waiting to exit the theater as quickly as humanly possible. Within the first 2 minutes, viewers will have no trouble predicting the ending of this empty shell of a film. In the world of 2007 animation, this will likely be a common tale, so we will all have to wait patiently until Pixar’s Ratatouille and Dreamwork’s Shrek the Third arrive. The 411: Around the same time last year, Hoodwinked! was presented to us having to do with Little Red-Riding Hood, and now we get a wacky tale about Cinderella. Both are forgettable. This is simply a bad film, not the absolute worst, but nowhere near even average. The voice work is dreary and lifeless, the animation is almost revolting, and the plot lacks any intelligence. Besides a couple smile and/or laughs, this is a complete waist of time. This is nothing new for January though. Avoid at all costs. Final Score: 4.0