Sarah Michelle Gellar

New hair color more interesting than plot

I was psyched to see “The Return” since I am an addict of horror movies.

I screamed in the theaters during “The Ring,” and I hardly saw “The Grudge” due to a hoodie wrapped conveniently around my entire face.

“The Return,” however, should be renamed “The Lullaby,” because I was daydreaming about fluffy pillows and hot cocoa while watching it.

The best thing about seeing “The Return” was admiring Sarah Michelle Gellar’s new hairstyle, which is now a long, brunette look.

Her new look apparently makes up for her dull performance as Joanna, a tough, strong - minde chick. Joanna travels back to her hometown of La Salle, Texas, and re-experiences visions and voices from her childhood.

The movie follows Joanna on her quest for enlightenment, which leads her to investigate a murder she believes she is connected to.

Our favorite former vampire slayer isn’t the same old ditzy blonde.

No, she’s now a serious-minded, career-oriented woman with a mission. I mean, have you seen her hair? Did I mention it’s brown now? It is so fabulous.

Unfortunately for the movie, Gellar gives off the impression that she’s never met anyone outside of L.A., because her cliche girlish manner is anything but intimidating or impressive.

Moments that could have become emotional or horrifying were flat and predictable. But then again, the script may not have been the most thrilling to work with.

Gellar carries the movie on her shoulders with dignity, but it falls short of being memorable.

Bad acting aside, what the movie needs is better dialogue and a more twisted, intriguing plot that doesn’t leave you wishing you were practicing for a piano recital instead.

It could have been a great movie, and it had potential to be a really fun, artsy supernatural thriller.

Instead, it ended up relying on conventional plot structures to try to manipulate the audience into caring about the lives of these weakly drawn characters.

The ending has a twist, but not a very exciting one, and you’ll probably guess what it is before the characters do.

‘THE RETURN’

Grade: C-

Verdict: See it if you insist, but bring a magazine just in case.