Sarah Michelle Gellar

Review: Non-gory ’Return’ goes nowhere fast

The Return

* WHERE: Area theaters.
* WHEN: Opened Friday.
* RATING: Rated PG-13 for violence, terror and disturbing images.
* RUNNING TIME: 85 minutes.
* BOTTOM LINE: Sarah Michelle Gellar spends most of the time wandering aimlessly looking for a plot in this non-gory thriller.

The good news: "The Return" is only 85 minutes long. The bad news: Nothing happens for about 60 of them.

Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a traveling saleswoman whose job takes her near her childhood home in Texas. She starts seeing and hearing strange things: a song played over and over, someone else’s face in the mirror, a bar she’s never been to.

When she visits her estranged father (played by Sam Shepard), we learn she’s been mentally disturbed for a while. And when she figures out where some of the images in her head come from, she heads to that little town to look for answers.

She spends about 5 minutes a day looking for them. The rest of the time - well, she doesn’t seem to do anything. And neither does the movie. There’s no narrative here; things just happen.

The plot finally shifts into gear with only a half hour left in the movie. And the funny thing is, the premise is actually kind of interesting.

If you really want to see it, wait ’til it’s on video and fast-forward through the first half.