Sarah Michelle Gellar

Fuggy the Vampire Slayer

We haven’t seen Sarah Michelle Gellar in a while, presumably because she was keeping her head in the sand while Freddie Prinze, Jr., embarrassed the family with his (mercifully cancelled — sorry, Brian Austin Green) ABC sitcom. But now that her long national nightmare is over, I’m surprised that her reappearance in the public eye is so lackluster.

She looks emaciated in that dress, which is a glorified shapeless sack cinched carelessly around her frame. The sleeves look like badly glued appliques. And, possibly, her facial muscles have forgotten how to smile, ostensibly from being forced first to take the paycheck and run in the Scooby Doo abominations, and then run odious lines with her husband ad nauseum, before she could return to pimping her own career safe in the knowledge that her name has a much tinier chance now of being linked in public to the italicized word "Freddie."

So buck up, Sarah. Things aren’t so bad, unless of course your film Southland Tales is. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves: Buy a dress that fits, do as Miss Tyra instructs — stand in front of the mirror to practice smiling at yourself — and eat some complex carbohydrates while repeating after me: "There is success after Buffy... There is success after Buffy..."