Sarah Michelle Gellar

I have found it impossible to avoid the evilest of the evil when it comes to male villains on the silver screen. My favorite line from a movie-to this day-is from “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,” when Alan Rickman, Sheriff of Nottingham, shouts, “And call off Christmas!”

In fact, Alan Rickman is the sole purpose I am not writing this piece about male villains in movies. Sheriff of Nottingham, Severus Snape, Hans Gruber: There are a rare number of actors who can make evil look as good as Mr. Rickman does, though there are numerous male villains who have unforgettably captured us with their greed, pride and slithery, golden hands. But what about the girls?

The sexiest man in Britain aside, haven’t we all hated some female film character one time or another, even if just for her cold eyes, deceptive grin and that crazy shit that she does behind closed doors? Of course we have. All of us must learn to embrace the evil that can (and does) exist outside the realms of Darth Vader, Saruman and all-time scariest lion, Scar.

This is why I bring you the Top Five Biggest Movie Bitches of the Last Ten Years. Prepare to loathe.

She Got What She Deserved Meter: ***** YES! to * Bitch got away

5. Rachel McAdams as Regina George, “Mean Girls” (2004)

She’s rich, beautiful and she does that mean thing where she says she likes your outfit and then makes fun of it as soon as you walk away. She’s everybody you hated in high school. Or maybe she was you in high school. Either way, she’s that ultimate bitch that will never be stopped... until she gets hit by a bus. (*****)

4. Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver, “Kill Bill: Vol. 2” (2004)

Anybody who poisons the almighty Pai Mei for relieving her of the stress of having both eyes can be kicked to the curb with a Black Mamba neck tie for all I care. While I do commend her for the gallant murder of Budd, brother of Bill, she’s still a major bitch who deserves the death she and her henchmen nearly put to The Bride. Only blinded? Come on. (**)

3. Sarah Michelle Gellar as Kathryn Merteuil, “Cruel Intentions” (1999)

Don’t let your eyes deceive you; that is not just any old cross she has tied around her neck. Every feigned, evil element of “Cruel Intentions” can be attributed to Kathryn and her greed for a gay football player named Court. Ah, but how Reese gets her in the end. Sweet, sweet vengeance. (****)

2. Rose McGowan as Courtney Alice Shayne, “Jawbreaker” (1999)

After killing a whole bunch of people in 1998’s “Urban Legend” (somebody please explain to me how she lifted all the bodies), Rebecca Gayheart chucks teen bitch Courtney Alice Shayne into jail after the accidental death of their best friend turns into a total scandal. Rose McGowan is so mean in this movie that she actually screws over a character played by Marilyn Manson. Yikes. (*****)

1. Pam Ferris as Agatha Trunchbull, “Matilda” (1996)

That time when she swings Matilda’s friend around by the hair? Holy hell. Not only can this woman throw javelins and hammers, but she can also force a tubby misfit to down an entire chocolate cake in front of the whole school. If any of you remember the Roald Dahl classic, “Matilda,” then you remember, more than anything, the fear generated by the evil, gigantic Mrs. Trunchbull. Leave it to Mr. Dahl to create a villain so terrifying that she locks kids up in a metal-spiked closet called The Chokey. She’s worse than those aunts in “James and the Giant Peach,” and yet Matilda uses her genius powers to serve that evil woman in the end. Adios, Trunchbitch. (*****)