Facade - Episode 4.03 (Original airdate 10.06.2004)

Directed by: Pat Williams

Written by: Holly Harold

Cast: Tom Welling...Clark Kent Michael Rosenbaum...Lex Luthor Kristin Kreuk...Lana Lang Allison Mack...Chloe Sullivan John Glover...Lionel Luthor John Schneider...Jonathan Kent Annette O’Toole...Martha Kent Jensen Ackles...Jason Teague

Guest Stars: Erica Durance...Lois Lane Brianna Lynn Brown...Abigail FineMichael Ironside...General Sam Lane Julianne Christie...Dr. Elise Fine

Review:

Trying to ride the Nip/Tuck, Dr. 90210 wave, the writers resort to using a Freak of the Week whose Kryptonite exposure was during plastic surgery. I didn’t like this idea right from the previews.

Flashback, 2001: Whitney tries to get Clark to dunk Lana by throwing a football at a target during a pep rally. Meanwhile, another player, Bret, makes fun of the homely girl who plays the mascot by calling her ‘Scabby Abby.’ Three years later, Abby’s mom (who happens to be a plastic surgeon) uses a Kryptonite-laced procedure to make her more attractive. Now Bret has the hots for Abigail, and to make up for being so cruel to her, he generously offers to make out with her in the boys’ locker room showers. But when they kiss, Bret has a reaction to the Kryptonite and goes crazy, looking in the mirror and thinking he’s disfigured. He runs into the parking lot and is hit by Lois car.

Speaking of Lois, General Lane shows up to tell her she’s not starting Met. U. this fall because she failed her last semester of high school, and she’s going to make it up at Smallville High (what a coincidence). Just when Clark thought he was rid of her, he has to put up with her all semester, and in order for her to get enough credits, Lois is going to reluctantly write for the Torch with cousin Chloe. So she and Clark investigate and Clark finds Abigail’s ‘A’ necklace in the shower. Lois makes an appointment to see Abby’s mom, Dr. Fine, to try to get some information. But Lana goes first to see about getting her tattoo removed, only to discover it’s not ink...it’s been branded underneath her skin. Abby comes in during the consultation and Lana asks her about Bret, since she saw them kissing in the all, but Abby denies it. After Lana leaves, Dr. Fine tells her Bret deserved what happened because he was so mean to her, and also that Lana has to have the same thing happen so she can’t tell anyone about seeing them together.

Meanwhile, Clark tries out for the football team against Pa’s wishes, and makes it. Jason is now the assistant football coach at Smallville High, and he and Lana are trying to hide their relationship. She’s ordering books on ancient heiroglyphs, which makes Lex suspicious, especially since Clark is so interested in the same thing. Jason sets up a romantic evening and blindfolds Lana, but while he’s out of the room, Abby sneaks in, kisses her, and runs away. Lana freaks out when she sees her face in the mirror and thinks she’s disfigured, just like Bret. She knocks over a huge mirror and ends up all cut up in the hospital (Again! Is she even insurable at this point?). Jason and Lex meet at the hospital, and Lex is familiar with Jason’s dad’s firm, but Jason tells him he was cut off from his father’s business.

Lois gets caught trying to record Dr. Fine, so Dr. Fine injects her with something and straps her to the table in order to put her through the procedure, but with bad intentions insead of good. Chloe and Clark figure out by reading Lois’ research that the procedure has something to do with levels of seratonin, which can make one hallucinate. Clark races over to Dr. Fine’s office and saves Lois, but gets sprayed with Kryptonite gas from the machine, so Lois ends up having to save him from Dr. Fine, who’s waving a scalpel around. Later, Lana tells Jason she’s worried that he only loves her for her looks. Clark makes up with Jonathan about the football team. And, finally, Lois sees her first headline and fan mail and starts to like being a reporter. She even gets to dunk Clark at the pep rally, but when Chloe notices the chemistry between them, she gets jealous.

This episode started out fine. It was good to see Whitney even though I never really liked the character (he did turn out to be a war hero, after all). Plus, flashback episodes are one of my favorite kinds (after parallel uinverse and time travel stories). But the flashback wasn’t very long and this show deteriorated from there.

I’ve really enjoyed this show since the beginning, but I’m getting a little worried after the bumpy start this season. Here are some of the problems I’m already having with the show this season (besides the general fact that I haven’t liked two out of three episodes much so far): Not enough Lex, especially the Lex/Lionel relationship; while I like Lois, I’m starting to think they’re pushing appearances of future Superman characters to the limit (especially having her go to Smallville High); and we’re already back to the Freak of the Week formula. Also, as little as they used him, I miss Pete. It was cool having someone else besides the family know about Clark’s powers.

And another thing...am I the only one who has a problem with all the adults who are after high school students in Smallville? It was bad enough that they were beginning to suggest Lex has a thing for Lana, but now she has a boyfriend at least a few years older who works at the school? She says she’s worried about detention if anyone finds out, and he says he could get fired. How ‘bout some jail time, buddy? Worried much about that? Plus, if you do the math with Lois from last week (she was five when her mom died and she says it was sixteen years ago), she’s twenty-one (or at least twenty) and something’s obviously developing between her and Clark.

I hate to complain so much about the show, but they did set the bar pretty high for themselves over the past three years. I didn’t mind some of the stunts like adding shower scenes to boost ratings as long as the episodes were good. Now it’s starting to get annoying.

When I’m not enjoying the episode, such as with this one, it just becomes difficult to watch.

Quotes of the Week:

LOIS (to Chloe): "No hard feelings here, Cuz, but unlike you, the last thing I want to be is a reporter."

CLARK: "Hey, hey, last time I checked, you’re missing a few of the prerequisite to be in here [the boy’s locker room]." LOIS: "So you have been checking me out."

Next Week: Love is in the air, and lust is in the Gatorade in "Devoted."

SMALLVILLE airs Wednesdays at 8 pm/7C on the WB.