David Boreanaz

Wow, Boreanz turns out to be the genuine TV star of the Whedon bunch. Hot damn. Pity he’s lumbering through those speeches. Nice military background, though. But why hint at it so adroitly in Act One, and then decide to puke it all up before the end of the show?

Thank you for not just laying pipe, but laying all the interpretation to the pipe, just in case we didn’t get how somebody’s parents disappearing might affect them. And thanks too for mentioning the disappearing parents/orphan thing five times.

One other small problem — Boreanz is so filthily likable in this role, when the scientists ("squints") unload the snark, you hate them for dumping on the one guy you like in the show. Hell, guys, technically I’m a squint, and I can’t stand these condescending know-it-alls to a one. They are not quirky. They are hateful. You know, I’m a die-hard enemy of the whole "liberal Hollywood" trash, but there is an issue with many writers not actually having any experience outside film school and Hollywood — which leads to bits which boil my blue-collar bartending blood. As they discuss the lead (Deschanel) shooting the suspect, and how she might get in trouble:

Boreanz: "She did shoot the guy with no warning, and alcohol on her breath." Assistant Squint: "How many guys did you warn when you sniped them?"

At that point, Boreanz’s character is well within his rights to grab this fuckwit by the neck and say: "Huh, I don’t know, let me think back on when I spent SIX YEARS SERVING MY COUNTRY, RISKING MY LIFE EVERY. FUCKING. DAY AND FORSAKING MY OWN GODDAM HUMANITY IN ORDER TO KEEP OTHER BASTARDS FROM PUTTING A .303 THROUGH THE BRAINPAN OF SOME RESERVIST WHO JUST WANTED TO GET HOME TO HIS WIFE AND KIDS." And then banging that arrogant little shit’s pasty face against a tombstone until he passes out whimpering in his soiled Dockers.

That’s how I would’ve written it. But fielder’s choice I guess.

I’ll give it one more, expecting that a fair amount of the endless pipe and the awful "I’m super-good at everything" shit they loaded on Deschanel’s character were monstrously clumsy network pilot notes. You’ve got to give big props for the in media res drop into the character relationships, and were some nice bits of dialogue, so one more.