Secret papers filed overnight in a Transylvanian court have fuelled existing rumours about Conservative leader Michael Howard’s origins. Lawyers for the family Dracula have instigated proceedings for parental right of access to the eldritch politician. An anonymous source for the family confirmed on a crackly line from their castle fastness in the Romanian mountains - “yesss, papers haf been issued this evening asserting the troo heritage of our family’s biluffid sunn, undt reqvesting that an order be issued allowing access by his troo father, Count Dracula”.

Speaking from his Whitby constituency, Mr Howard denied the allegations about his parentage, and said he would be hotly contesting the case. “There is no truth to the rumour I am Count Dracula’s love child, and I shall of course be producing genetic proof that this slur is groundless.” Mr Howard then added that he had to go indoors now, as the dawn was approaching, and he had pressing matters to attend to - “there is a box vaiting for me...”

A spokesman for the Conservative party appeared upbeat at the news, and said there might be considerable spin-off benefits - “We have long been concerned that the membership of our party is aging, and will one day die off. If Michael is Dracula’s son, our problem goes away - one bite from him, and they turn into undead voters, continuing our support forever!” The spokesman also speculated that the traditional full evening dress might go down well with the lady voters of the Conservative heartlands - “those old biddies in the Bournemouth rest homes love the classy tail coat look. I think this could be a real vote spinner for us - it’s about time we showed Labour some teeth”

Anne Widdecombe, an ex-colleague of Michael Howard, said she was unsurprised at the news. Miss Widdecombe famously said of Mr Howard “I feel there is something of the night about him”. Miss Widdecombe refused to comment on the possibility that her alleged virginity may have made her more than usually susceptible to the vampire’s attentions.

It is thought highly unlikely that Count Dracula and Michael Howard will meet in person to discuss the allegations, since a vampire must rest each night in the native soil in which he was buried. This effectively rules out travel for either party.

The news has brought about speculation on the origins of other front bench members of the conservative party. Rumours are linking Theresa May and Imelda Marcos, while Michael Ancram and Thomas The Tank Engine bear more than a passing resemblance.

The hit show Buffy The Vampire Slayer today confirmed they are in talks with the Palace Of Westminster to film a Houses Of Parliament special - “there appears to be a lot of raw talent on the ground there, and we think Buffy could really clean up. Judging from the average age in your House Of Lords, we reckon at least half of them must be undead...”

Tony Blair was unavailable for comment, but his official spokesman confirmed he had been to mass this morning.