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Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Keith R.A. DeCandido - "Buffy : The Deathless" Book - Excerpt - Spoilers

Wednesday 9 August 2006, by Webmaster

This is a tiny bit of dialogue between Buffy and Principal Snyder for The Deathless. This story will be taking place between the third-season episodes "The Zeppo" and "Bad Girls" (which, among other things, means Faith will be in it as a good guy). Ring Day is approaching at Sunnydale High School, and Snyder is having words with Buffy on the subject.

PLEASE NOTE that this is a first-draft and may not represent the final text in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer novel The Deathless, due to be published next spring, and that this is all copyright 2006, 2007 20th Century Fox Film Corporation.

Reverting to his more typical scowl, Snyder then said, "I can’t help but notice, Summers, that you haven’t signed up for a ring. No time like the present."

Buffy stared at the floor, hoping the linoleum would provide solace. It didn’t. "I can’t. I wanted to—really, I did—but we can’t afford it."

Snyder shook his head. "Always some excuse. ’I can’t afford it, Principal Snyder,’ ’Rings make my finger turn green, Principal Snyder,’ ’The IRS just did an audit, Principal Snyder.’ Kids..." He wagged a finger at Buffy. Buffy somehow resisted the urge to bite it. "Mark my words, Summers, you’re walking on thin ice. There are still four months left in the school year, and that’s plenty of time for you to revert to form and give me just the excuse I need to expel you a second time." The smile came back, and Snyder straightened up. "I’ve never expelled anyone twice before. The very thought has me all a-quiver."

"I’m thrilled for you," Buffy deadpanned, trying to hold down her nausea.

"Try to stay out of trouble, Summers. Or better yet, don’t."

With that, the principal wandered off to find someone else to annoy.

Willow and Oz appeared at her side, then. Buffy’s instinct was to complain that they didn’t come to her rescue sooner, but that wasn’t fair. Snyder would just trap them in his web of malice like some kind of bald, big-eared spider.

"Everything okay?" Willow sounded concerned.

Buffy tried to shrug it off. "Just Snyder being Snyder. Like he said, there’s only four months left, and then we’ll never have to deal with him again." She grinned. "The very thought has me all a-quiver."