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FireflyMovies.com Buzz Bin on Serenity : "It was awesome." - Ranked #4
By Mike Standish
Thursday 8 September 2005, by Webmaster
Fab photos and trailers, casting rumors, margarita-fueled rants from drunken B-list actors ... the Buzz Bin digs deep for the 12 things you absolutely have to know about Hollywood right now.
New Rankings Every Wednesday
1. Superman Returns
Kryptonite? No, That’s Cubic Zirconia The real trailer for the reportedly $250 million sequel won’t debut until Goblet of Fire opens in November, but an impatient fan edited together footage from Bryan Singer’s video blog and some of the stuff shown at Comic Con to produce a fake teaser that fooled a Brit movie mag before disappearing from the Web. That’s some quality forgery! The teaser’s not legit, but these pics are real, including the first look at bald Lex Luthor.
2. Casino Royale
Royale Pain This report details why nobody’s been cast as James Bond. Hugh Jackman? "Not masculine enough." Read: too many Broadway musicals. Ewan McGregor? "Too short." Read: The Island tanked. Colin Farrell? "Too much of a bad boy." Read: All his movies tanked. Eric Bana? Not "good-looking enough." Read: wore a skirt in Troy. Meanwhile, Dan "Harry Potter" Radcliffe might play young 007 in a prequel. Because he’s got that smooth player vibe going.
3. Super Marvel
That’ll Buy a Lot of Spandex! Marvel has $525 million to spend and has green-lit 10 superhero movies based on its catalog of 5,000 characters. Here’s a quick and easy test to determine whether you’re a comic-book geek: Have you heard of Nick Fury, Ant-Man, Cloak & Dagger, Dr. Strange, Hawkeye, the Power Pack or Shang-Chi? If you answered yes, it’s time to move out of your parents’ basement.
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Serenity Now! I’m acquainted with nerds, but I’m not really one of them. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. So this Joss Whedon sci-fi western sounded too nerdy, even for me. Well, I - and a theater full of soon-to-be-40-year-old virgins - saw a preview screening, and I can honestly say ... it was awesome. In fact, it’s inspired me to come out of the nerd closet! Where are my dice bag and Dungeon Masters Guide?
This Is Embarrassing Since I’ve already confessed to being a Serenity-loving dork, I may as well go ahead and throw away the rest of my credibility by saying that I love the trailer for this Heath Ledger-Sienna Miller romance. Is it predictable, sentimental, sickeningly sweet crapola? Oh, yeah. But I’ll be there on opening night. Alone. Because not even my girlfriend will accompany me to this one.
6. Alpha Dog
Dogg Show In the first publicity stills from the suburban druggie drama, a shirtless, heavily tattooed Justin Timberlake looks a lot like Tupac Shakur ... only extremely white. Like, Vanilla Ice white.
7. X-Men 3
Worst Rent-a-Cops Ever These behind-the-scenes photos are pretty funny. You know a movie’s got problems when a 12-year-old girl in bright pink sweatpants can walk right onto the set without being seen. Apparently, there’s no security at all. Who’s up for a road trip to visit Wolverine?
8. Where the Truth Lies
Something I Didn’t Need to See Only watch this trailer if you’ve fantasized about being in a threesome with Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth.
9. Fun With Dick and Jane
Less Is More The studio reportedly tossed out 60 pages of the script and demanded five weeks of reshoots, including a new ending, because the already-delayed comedy needs "more Jim Carrey over-the-top type stuff." Uh, no, it does not. That’s what ruined Bruce Almighty, and why the sequel will be better without him.
10. Good Night, and Good Luck
George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black-and-White Movies The trailer for George Clooney’s newsroom drama looks like a decent history lesson, but there aren’t any explosions, and nobody gets naked. As a result, the only people who are gonna be interested in this biopic are those who were alive during the McCarthy hearings ... or those who want to see it as a metaphor for the Bush administration.
11. Get Rich or Die Tryin’
The Plot Needs a Remix The second trailer for 50 Cent’s semiautobiographical drama is about as gritty and harrowing as Kid ’n Play’s House Party. This movie’s like Titanic - you know how it’s gonna end (uh, he gets rich, doesn’t die tryin’) - so why bother?
12. North Country
Monster Makeup A barely recognizable Charlize Theron gets hit on in the trailer. I hate movies that insist on teaching you a lesson. Especially when that lesson is mind-numbingly obvious. Yeah, I get it: Sexual harassment is bad. Now can Charlize go back to being a smokin’-hot babe again?