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Buffy The Vampire SlayerOMWF - Emma Caufield & Nicholas Brendon - I never tell
Wednesday 1 January 2003, by isa
XANDER Well, I can do an omelet, I’ve almost got that ...
XANDER Well, I can do an omelet, I’ve almost got that
ANYA This is the man that I intend to entangle Isn’t he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine!
But I’m out of the biz The name I made, I’ll trade for his The only trouble is I’ll never tell
XANDER She is the one She’s such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night when I’m right in her tight Embrace! Tight embrace
I’ll never let her go The love we’ve known can only grow There’s just one thing that No. I’ll never tell
ANYA AND XANDER Cause there’s nothing to tell
ANYA He snores
XANDER She wheezes
ANYA Say "housework" and he freezes
XANDER She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can’t describe
ANYA I talk; he breezes
XANDER She doesn’t know what pleases
ANYA His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe
ANYA AND XANDER The vibe gets kind of scary
XANDER Like, she thinks I’m ordinary
ANYA Like, it’s all just temporary
XANDER Like, her toes are kind of hairy
ANYA AND XANDER But it’s all very well Cause, God knows, I’ll never tell!
ANYA When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy! Now look, he’s getting huffy Cause he knows that I know
XANDER She clings She’s needy She’s also really greedy She nev
ANYA His eyes are beady!
XANDER This is my verse, hello? She
ANYA Hey, look at me! I’m dancing crazy!
ANYA AND XANDER You know
XANDER You’re quite the charmer
ANYA My knight in armor
XANDER You’re the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm, yet supple Tight embrace!
ANYA He’s swell
XANDER She’s sweller
ANYA He’ll always be my feller
XANDER That’s why I’ll never tell her that I’m petrified
ANYA I’ve read this tale There’s wedding, than betrayal And oh will come the day I’ll want to run and hide
ANYA AND XANDER I’ve lied I’ve said it’s easy I’ve tried But there’s these fears I’ve can’t quell
XANDER Is she looking for a pot of gold
ANYA Will I look good when I’ve gotten old?
XANDER Will our lives become too stressful if I’m never that successful?
ANYA Will I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?
XANDER Am I crazy?
ANYA Am I dreamin’?
XANDER Am I marrying a demon?
ANYA AND XANDER We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!
So, thank God, I’ll never tell! I swear, that I’ll never tell
XANDER My lips are sealed
ANYA I take the Fifth
XANDER Nothing to see Move it along
ANYA AND XANDER I’ll never Tell!