Buffy The Vampire Slayer

XANDER Well, I can do an omelet, I’ve almost got that

ANYA This is the man that I intend to entangle Isn’t he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine!

But I’m out of the biz The name I made, I’ll trade for his The only trouble is I’ll never tell

XANDER She is the one She’s such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night when I’m right in her tight Embrace! Tight embrace

I’ll never let her go The love we’ve known can only grow There’s just one thing that No. I’ll never tell

ANYA AND XANDER Cause there’s nothing to tell

ANYA He snores

XANDER She wheezes

ANYA Say "housework" and he freezes

XANDER She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can’t describe

ANYA I talk; he breezes

XANDER She doesn’t know what pleases

ANYA His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe

ANYA AND XANDER The vibe gets kind of scary

XANDER Like, she thinks I’m ordinary

ANYA Like, it’s all just temporary

XANDER Like, her toes are kind of hairy

ANYA AND XANDER But it’s all very well Cause, God knows, I’ll never tell!

ANYA When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy! Now look, he’s getting huffy Cause he knows that I know

XANDER She clings She’s needy She’s also really greedy She nev

ANYA His eyes are beady!

XANDER This is my verse, hello? She

ANYA Hey, look at me! I’m dancing crazy!

ANYA AND XANDER You know

XANDER You’re quite the charmer

ANYA My knight in armor

XANDER You’re the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm, yet supple Tight embrace!

ANYA He’s swell

XANDER She’s sweller

ANYA He’ll always be my feller

XANDER That’s why I’ll never tell her that I’m petrified

ANYA I’ve read this tale There’s wedding, than betrayal And oh will come the day I’ll want to run and hide

ANYA AND XANDER I’ve lied I’ve said it’s easy I’ve tried But there’s these fears I’ve can’t quell

XANDER Is she looking for a pot of gold

ANYA Will I look good when I’ve gotten old?

XANDER Will our lives become too stressful if I’m never that successful?

ANYA Will I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?

XANDER Am I crazy?

ANYA Am I dreamin’?

XANDER Am I marrying a demon?

ANYA AND XANDER We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!

So, thank God, I’ll never tell! I swear, that I’ll never tell

XANDER My lips are sealed

ANYA I take the Fifth

XANDER Nothing to see Move it along

ANYA AND XANDER I’ll never Tell!