Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Half-way through coffee

You wouldn’t believe the amount of mail I’ve been getting about those “Buffy” telemovies being cancelled. It’s insane. But...it’s not surprising. The series (and it’s spin-off, “Angel”) has been off our screens for a while now, and yet, the fans are still there, salivating for more. They’re still frequenting the forums, still following the movements of its ex-cast members, still buying the merchandise, still attending the conventions, still laying in hope that we see the Sunnydale crew again.... For a while there, it looked like we would see the “Slayer” crew again. Joss Whedon was in talks with the WB (now, the CW network) about doing a series of telemovies, each dedicated to one particular character in the “Buffy” universe. ‘Spike’ (James Marsters reprising his role as the flaxen-haired vampire) was the most talked-about spin-off, apparently in the planning stages. Whedon teased us for months that such telemovies (at one stage, he even hinted that they might be ‘DVD Premieres’ instead of telemovies...which suggests that he was trying everything to get them up and going) were in the planning stages. The network was even semi-interested in running with them. Thing is, something happened.... we don’t quite know what.... all we know is that Whedon and the TV network didn’t see eye-to-eye on the films and they were suddenly shelved - from the sounds of it - for good. At the end of the day, Whedon put a stake through the plans.... obviously forlorn with what was on offer. So what was on offer? That’s what I want to know. Was it a miniscule budget? A new cast? (David James Elliot as ‘Spike’? Holly Marie Combs as ‘Illyria’?), a graveyard time-slot? , Deferred payment?, A ‘get SMG and Boreanaz back, or there’s no deal’ tender? - I dunno...

A couple of people [the nerve, hey?] asked what the goddamn appeal is with “Buffy” and “Angel”, and why we’re all so upset about the telemovies not happening. I’ll tell ya why, in 10 straight-up dot points...

· They were probably the best written shows on TV over the last decade
· The characters were memorable, loveable, exciting and, in the case of Darla, super-sexy.
· We were left with ‘so many questions’
· The storylines were intriguing, always captivating, and it was never a case of ‘These next couple of episodes are slow...but there’s a good one coming up’ as we usually refer to many episodes of, say, “Lost” or “The OC”.
· The acting was sensational.... film good...nobody can forget how at home James Marsters was as Spike, how inseparable David Boreanaz was from his screen alias, or how versatile a performer Amy Acker was. Even those playing the villains - Christian Kane, Julie Benz, Mark Metcalf, Harry Groener, Eliza Dushku and so on - were likeable. Mostly, due in part to the actors. They humanized the rogues they were playing. Every time.
· The dialogue was hip; fresh, funny, not ‘dumbed down’ like so many series’. Joss Whedon had a way of talking to the audience, not at them.
· The chemistry between “Buffy” and “Angel”. Hotter than Michael Scolfield’s back when he rubbed against that steamer.
· It was brave. An episode where nobody talks? An episode that revolves around people grieving over a dead body? An episode that was a musical? An episode about a teenager with plans to shoot up his highschool? An episode where the lead character turns into a puppet?
· It managed to offer ‘life lessons’ (everything from teen-sex to adolescent depression and the feeling of being alienated from your peers, was discussed) whilst never forgetting it’s roots as an action/adventure series. In many ways, and despite the vampires, “Buffy” was set in the real world.
· The fact that “Buffy” was a feminist. Real, very rare. But it was empowering for the gals to see.... for once, she was doing the rescuing, and the he’s of the show (usually Xander) were playing the ‘damsels in distress’.

So, what were the plans? Apparently, we were going to be treated to half-a-dozen spin-off movies. These are the ones we know about.

Illyria - Amy Acker was to return as the kick-butt leather-clad second coming of Fred. I believe J.August Richards, reprising his role as one time good guy Gunn, was going to be in too.... But as a vampire. Not sure whether they were going to whack ‘Illyria’ and ‘Gunn’ into another of the films, say the ‘Spike’ one, or give them their own outing. Personally, I think Acker could’ve carried her own.

Spike - James Marsters was ready and willing to put on the leather duds and dye the hair again, to play Spike, again, one of the most popular characters from the “Buffy” universe.

Willow - Joss Whedon actually told me about this one last year. He said he was trying to get Ally Hannigan back to reprise her role as the witchy lesbian again, and it was looking good....

Faith - Whedon had always wanted to bring Eliza Dushku back as Faith - she was even linked to her own spin-off series at one stage - and this would’ve been the perfect opportunity. Basically, it would’ve been an hour-and-a-half of kick-butt action.

To close, I actually had a chat to someone at the new CW network about this whole thing.... and, well, yeah, it isn’t good. Basically, there are no plans for anything with the “Buffy” characters coming up. Sounds like doors were slammed, email addresses were removed from OE accounts, and staff blackboard ideas were dustered. Hopefully something can be done....but at the moment, the closest thing it looks like we’re going to get to “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer” is well, “Wonder Woman” or, perhaps, re-runs of “Skating with the Stars”, being that Kristy Swanson’s in it and....yeah, not a good link.