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Angel 5x03 Unleashed - PJzallday Shallowfeed

Thursday 16 October 2003, by Webmaster

On the promo for next week (`cause yeah, sometimes I just HAVE to start at the end) : I’ve gotta ask after that one, if a completely naked woman with strategically bent elbows and knees doesn’t rate a "partial nudity" warning, what on earth are we in for next week ? (Please… don’t tell me. I’m just going to dream.)

This episode was icky - and not in a good way. The bad guys grab this gal, chain her up then hose her down and cut her clothes off. That’s not the icky part actually… `cause I thought they were going to skin her but no, that bunch was going to eat her ! If that wasn’t disgusting enough --- eating something that was both recently alive and human (and these people are dressed in black tie not freezing to death after a plane crash in the Andes) --- they’re not even going to kill her first. They’re going to eat her alive. *shudders* I won’t even eat sushi and my meat has to come wrapped in plastic from the grocery store with a UPC sticker on it. Just watching those people on *Survivor* and *Fear Factor* eating live bugs grosses me out. (I have a delicate constitution.)

CRANE : … [some chef] used an understated mole sauce to bring out the tanginess of the meat… But Chef Renaut swears serving it en neige with a light drizzle of white truffle oil will be quietly surprising.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to go to French or Mexican restaurants again. (What is it with the writers at AtS this year ? Are they trying to turn us off food ? ? ? Guess not since some how the gang was able to order Chinese at the end.)

And there was all that talk of "that time of the month". I gotta figure female werewolves have it way worse than male ones. I’m thinking it would be better if both "times of the month" coincided. But geez… better watch out.

I don’t know… Something about this episode just seemed… off. I didn’t find funny, things that I think were supposed to be funny --- and didn’t really find anything else funny either.

Lorne : Even he wasn’t thrilling me tonight. Though I did almost chuckle when…

ANGEL : I’m not gonna sing.

LORNE : Couldn’t bear it if you did.

(And maybe I’m just being overly sensitive on DB’s behalf but what the heck was up with that scene ? "that extra weight", "leaning", "weight of the world"…)

And I did rather like the sound of the phrase "Schmoozing starlets and boozing hipsters". Things like that seem to just roll off Andy Hallett’s tongue.

Red is definitely the man-or rather demon’s colour. And as always, I love when he wears his red shoes.

Wes : He looks fabulous in blue --- brings out those gorgeous eyes. And I LOVE the motorcycle and suede jacket. I think the vest was a little… much though. I’m beginning to wonder when he’s going to start wearing a fedora and carrying a whip. (You know, that might have come in handy last season when--- poor Lilah…) Hey ! Sean Connery can play his dad and we can find out that they named the dog Wesley.

GUNN : Everybody here got something outta this.

ANGEL : Fear. Mistrust. Great car pool.

LORNE : I got the Nancy Sinatra collection. Original 45s.

WES : I got a rather nice pen. Sterling. S’got my name on it. Which is not the point at all.

First it’s pencils dusting vampires, now $300 sterling silver pens killing werewolves. I wonder if Wes got the pen back. Would he want it back ? ? ?. (And where’s the fair in that anyway ? Gunn got his brain all stimulated --- plus lots of snazzy new suits. Angel has all those hot cars. Wes got a pen ? ? ?)

Spike : I’m not warming to this new duster at all. It’s just… wrong. And I wasn’t thrilled with the way Spike was written in tonight’s episode. (He came across to me as a manipulative and self- centered jerk --- and his dialogue seemed odd in a few places. But then they had that bit near the end, where he was all serious. He just looked so much like he did in "Sleeper" 7x08 and I was going to cry --- `cause I do that --- then he got smarmy again.)

I thought that bit --- the supposed retcon --- was perhaps the funniest part of the whole episode. Well, not so much Spike’s talk about his "past" with Wesley and the rising strains of synthesized violin music as Fred…

FRED : Oh my god. You’re so full of crap.

(What a relief. I dreaded both the retcon and the possibility that Wesley would actually have something serious against Spike.)

I don’t get how Spike can be a ghost and still cast a shadow --- especially not when he’s actually appearing translucent. What’s up with that ? And can he will himself to be more visible ? Was that bit near the end just more of him trying to get Fred to do what he wanted ? (Pretend to be disappearing until she agrees to do something. Again, not liking it if it was just manipulation. Spike’s not evil. Everybody else is.)

Has anyone considered the possibility that it’s the network sensors that keep sucking Spike into… wherever the "hell" he’s going. After all, he seems to pop out whenever he’s getting uppiddy --- and about to say "ass". (Ah… Spike… ass… Spike’s ass. Did I mention there’s a partial nudity warning for next week. Warning ? MY ass. That’s an advertisement ! THAT better not turn out to be a lame ratings grab like last season’s Fred/Angel kiss in the promo for "The Magic Bullet" 4x19 where what you see in the promo is all there is.)

SPIKE : `cause after she goes all growly it won’t be easy takin’ her out. I had a wee spat with a werewolf myself once. Fought for over an hour. Brutal. Viscous. Almost lost my---

FRED : Angel killed him with a pen.

Fred : I think Fred’s much prettier with her hair up. Couldn’t figure why she let it down during an actual scene.

NINA : [Angel] saves a lot of girls, huh ?

FRED : Girls, guys, puppies. He’s pretty much an equal opportunity saver.

Nope Fred. He’s not.

And Fred has to be more than just nerdy science gal. Evidently she can see in the dark as she’s always wandering around without switching lights on until the last possible minute.

Guest Nina : I’m assuming those were supposed to be Fred’s clothes they gave Nina. (They did have a certain Fred-esque quality, though I highly doubt they’d fit like that if they were actually hers.)

NINA : You don’t know anything.

ANGEL : I’m not a werewolf, like you, but I know what it’s like. I’m a m-monster too.

NINA : So, what ? You’re like a Frankenstein.

ANGEL (clearly taking offense --- maybe because Frankenstein was the guy who made the monster, rather than the monster itself ? ? ?) : No. Um… I’m um um I’m a vampire.

NINA : Vampire.

ANGEL : But I have a soul. I’m not evil. And neither are you.

(She never said you were, Angel. And let’s get over this soul business, it’s old.)

NINA : But vampires kill people, and they—

ANGEL : Can control themselves if they want to. I do it everyday, and so can you. I’ll help.

NINA : Can you cure me ?

ANGEL : No. But I can keep you safe.

Angel : Why is that Angel ? I mean, you didn’t seem the least bit interested in keeping the hairy old guy (that you killed) safe. Or the guy that was bitten later in the episode. Is it just that they weren’t hot young blonde women ? ? ? Definitely not an equal opportunity rescuer.

I read a blurb that suggested this Nina gal may be a recurrent character. Can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea on any level. I just couldn’t help thinking while Angel doing his little "I’m a monster too" pep talk that AtS is going to turn out to be some bad knock off of X-Men with Angel and his band of merry mutants running around saving humanity. (Get really suspicious when the smart bald guy ends up in a wheel chair.) And then at the end when he’s talking about how werewolf girl gave him a look *eye roll*. Now I’m not adverse to the idea of Angel getting out and dating. Heck, I’d love to see the big guy happy --- especially so that when Buffy comes back to tell him her cookies are baked but he’s not getting any, it won’t bother him `cause he’s already getting plenty elsewhere *eg*.

Hot cars and necro-tempered glass. What more could an undead guy ask ? "Being nearly indestructible is cool" apparently. I can think of one thing he needs though : a decent barber. What’s with that hair ? For my sake, at least trim it up on the sides.

Gunn : Beiges and mochas are definitely better colours for Gunn than greys. Not liking the mauves on him. But what I do like is when he gets his fighting groove on. I’m glad they haven’t made him "too bright to fight". If Wes can be intelligent AND an effective fighter (and really hot), why can’t Gunn ?

Really, what does it say (about me) when the best line of the night comes from the bad guy ?

KIDNAPPER : We got the package.

CRANE : Bring it around back. I just had the floors done.

Mental note : check babysitters for hickies.

Eventually Mexican fighting mask (thanks Ramses) guy just HAS to do something… He keeps turning up.

On the ending (well not the very end, but the end bit with werewolf gal) : "Makes me hurl" OK, I don’t think that’s actually what the singer was saying, but that was the way I was feeling when all the blond women were smiling and the music cued up.