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Buffy The Vampire SlayerCordelia’s Lovers in 3 Years Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
By Tara O’Shea
Tuesday 24 August 2004, by Webmaster
Donnie used to follow Cordelia everywhere. In 9th Grade remedial Spanish, he wrote Cordelia a song. It went like this: Oh Cordelia, how I long to feel ya.
Daryl was Cordelia’s first love. She was mad about him as an underclassmen, and it broke her heart when he was killed in a rock climbing accident. However, when his younger brother Chris brought him back to life and tried to do a Bride of Frankenstein deal by creating a girl out of spare parts and using Cordy’s head for the topper, that pretty much killed any sentiment on her part. When Xander saved her life in the abandoned science lab where Chris was conducting his experiments, Cordelia sincerely thanked him but was rebuffed by the Xandman.
Jesse was Cordelia’s "stalker" (i.e., a loser who followed her around like a puppy no matter how many times she shot him down) during junior high. However, she did dance with him once at the Bronze. Unfortunately, he was a vampire at the time and that dance almost resulted in her being eaten by the Master’s right hand vampire, Luke.
During sophomore year Cordy made a play for Owen, who was solitary, mysterious and could brood for forty minutes straight. Much to Cordelia’s amazement and distress, Owen preferred Buffy’s company. However, Owen turned out to be a bit of a danger-obsessed freak, so it’s probably just as well.
Mitch was Cordelia’s boyfriend at the time of her sophomore prom, and he was the perfect companion for someone of her social standing at Sunnydale High-tall, athletic, almost as pretty as she was, even if he couldn’t remember what colour her eyes were. Prior to dating Cordelia, he had dated a girl named Wendy. Cordy had told Harmony that if he made varsity baseball, she might consider going out with him. Mitch had hopes of some serious action with Cordy after the dance, prior to being beaten half to death by a girl he had six inches and a eighty pounds on. Of course, Marcie Ross was invisible at the time.
Kevin was sweet, and Cordelia was genuinely falling for him when she discovered his corpse in the AV room of Sunnydale High the night before the Spring Fling dance. Devastated, Cordy was in her car where she and Kevin used to park when she sees the hordes of vampires heading straight towards the high school where the Master is opening the Hellmouth. Hightailing it over to the High School, Cordy rescues Willow and Ms. Calendar from the vampires, and drives her car straight into the library where she joins in the fray, marking her first night as a de-facto member of the Scooby Gang.
Lead singer of Dingoes Ate My Baby, Devon was Cordy’s steady off and on for at least four months. Devon’s not too particular about the women he dates. In fact, he wouldn’t mind if they were mute. After being dumped by Cordy for Xander, Devon dated second-banana Heather (AKA Cordette #1) Harmony Kendall.
Richard Anderson of Anderson Farms, Anderson Aeronautics and Anderson Cosmetics was a member of Crestwood College fraternity Delta Zeta Kappa. He wooed Cordy briefly, but was really only interested in feeding her to Machina, the giant snake demon that lived in the basement of the frat house. It seems the source of these rich frat boys families riches lay with yearly sacrifices of young girls, and Cordy and Buffy were almost their quota for 1998. The experience sent Cordy straight into the arms of...
Okay, so she let him buy her coffee and a muffin at the Bronze. But it was probably the high point of Jonathan’s year...
Xander and Cordelia discovered a mutual attraction while locked in Buffy’s basement fleeing an assassin made entirely out of maggots. After several weeks of groping in broom closets, they finally went public with their relationship, to the horror of Scoobies and Cordettes alike. Xander bought her a valentine’s day pendant and Cordy broke up with him at the Bronze. Seeking revenge, Xander went to Amy Madison, who followed in her mother’s footsteps as a natural witch. Amy cast a spell meant to force Cordelia to love Xander. However, the spell backfired because Cordelia already loved him. She had broken up with him out of fear at the realisation that she had genuine feelings for him.
Cordelia gave up almost everything-her social status, her role as top Heather and leader of the Cordettes-to be with Xander. However, when Xander began cheating on Cordelia with Willow, it became obvious that while Cordelia was falling in love with Xander he didn’t seem to return her feelings with the same depth. For Xander, it was all about who he couldn’t have.
After catching Willow and Xander in flagrante delicto (and getting a re-bar through her torso for her trouble) Cordelia felt so betrayed that she summoned Anyanka, patron saint of scorned women, to Sunnydale to grant her wish for revenge. However, her wish that Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale had unexpected consequences.
No-Neck Rebound Guy
No-neck the wrestler-type made the near-fatal mistake of trying to go all Neanderthal on Cordelia after she stood him up at the Bronze, thus humiliating him in front of his "posse." When he tried to rough her up after she blew him off, pointing out that he shouldn’t take her flirting seriously as she was on the rebound from Xander Harris, Buffy stepped in to stop him. Unfortunately, the slayer was under the influence of drugs given to her by the Watcher’s Council, and ended up being rescued by Cordelia who attacked No-neck with girly punches, thus driving him away.
When he first arrived in Sunnydale, California to act as Buffy and Faith’s Slayer, Wesley was immediately smitten by Cordelia. Mistaking her for a teacher and not a student, he wrestled with his unseemly attracting for a young girl easily five to ten years his junior for months. Cordelia, in turn, found Wesley dashing and James Bond-like, until they gave in to their forbidden desires for what might possibly be termed as the worst first kiss of all time. Deciding it would be better if they were just friends from that moment onward, the two have in years since developed a very close, sibling-like relationship.
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